The Not "Quite" Skinny Enough, Pretty Enough, Talented Enough Actress.

Top 20 Tour Accomplishments!

I just came back from 3 months of tour 4 days ago and I’ve been too jet lagged and busy to write about it until now. Finally my body and schedule let me sleep for 12 hours and I can THINK again!

 While most members of my tour were out of town for a year, and I just happened to be a replacement on the last leg….3 months is a long time when you have a fiancé, an apartment, work, and a wedding to plan for at home. 

 So, I came up with a list of my top 20 accomplishments on tour that made each second of putting my life at home on hold worth it!

 1. Learned an entire show within 10 days! Good for this old brain!

2. Danced in high energy/high stamina show….and actually developed said stamina to do it without dying on stage/barfing.

3. Watched the entire Daredevil season 1.

4. Watched over 20 seasons of Survivor on Amazon Prime.

5. Spent a month in Hawaii! (which also allowed me to accomplish another dream which is to have Asian influenced food every single day for a month.)

6.  Read 12 full length books.

7. Got a lot of sleep. I love sleep.

8. Got to see some of my best friends in the world in Los Angeles and Anaheim CA, plus Scottsdale AZ! Jeffrey, Marilyn, Emily, Jestina, Jamie, Tina, Daphna, and super long lost friend Ellen!

9. Was a part of Daphna’s daughter Olivia’s very first theatrical experience.

10. Was able to be part of the casting process for Jeffrey’s new movie.

11. Spent an amazing day in Stockton, CA (of all places) with my cousins!

12. Walked the Vegas strip and saw my all time favorite Vegas show: Jubilee.

13. Got to see my main girl Kelly in Seattle, WA!

14. Salt and Straw Ice Cream….Portland, OR….nough said!

15. Went crazy in Reno!!! Who even goes to Reno anymore?

16. Was able to take aerial silks in both Portland, OR and Honolulu HI!

17. Had time to come up with my wedding invitation list.

18. WENT TO DISNEYLAND!!!!!

19. Made some amazing tour friends that I hopefully will stay in touch with forever.

20. LOST 3 POUNDS! (The reason this accomplishment is so huge is because I was probably eating 5,000 calories a day!)

 

It's The Last Day Of The Show Y'all!

For the last 2 months I have been in Jacksonville, FL working in my first equity show: The Yeston/Kopit version of Phantom. This has been an amazing experience and it all winds down today. As an un-established actress, whenever a job ends...it feels that it may be the last time you ever work. I have no job prospects and I am not sure how I will support myself when I return home...so I am leaving here with a heavy heart. As much as I claim to love NYC, after being here in Jacksonville for 2 months I realize that as long as I'm performing...I can be happy anywhere. In memorial to JAX, this is what I will miss: 1.) Getting together with long lost highschool friend: Lea Klein. 2.) Visiting with Sesame Street friends when their tour comes through town. 3.) Joe's Crab Shack. 4.) Ponte Vedra Fitness Center...It's a horrible unorganized gym BUT it has wifi throughout allowing for long cardio sessions while watching Desperate Housewives/Gifted Man/and Weeds on Netflix. 5.) The Beach. 6.) Warm FL weather (even though it's kinda cold right now.) 7.) Southern accents. 8.) A daily schedule. 9.) Making a living as an actress. 

Tomorrow we start a road trip back to NYC, but first: It's the last day of the show y'all:-(

A Year In Review!

As the New Year is approaching, I've been reflecting a lot on 2011. In this moment, I feel way behind on all my goals and dreams...but if I go through my year bit by bit in my mind I'm realizing I've accomplished quite a lot. 

New Years Eve a year ago was spent with my dear friend Sheryl at a family friends party on Long Island. We were both unemployed, I was flat broke, living at home with my family, in a horrible school situation, and just plain miserable. One of my first accomplishments in the new year was to get a job at the Olive Garden. That turned into a nightmare for me...possibly being one of the worst jobs I have ever had in my life. The heavy dishware full of pasta and soup were just not meant to be carried by a girl with a proclivity for arthritis. The customers tended to be the cheapest of the cheap and the most unhealthy people (mind and body) I have ever had to deal with in my entire life! But the job did enable me to pay a portion of my bills. I also had to suffer through the last semester of school. School SUCKED. But I graduated. And in order to graduate I had to co direct a play. Something that I did not enjoy, but I'm glad I did. I started dating Gary in February and he has opened up so many opportunities to me. He welcomed me into his home. Upon graduation I was given the luxury of living in the heart of Manhattan. I have been able to easily get to auditions. When I first graduated I was financially screwed! But I started booking so much background work, and I got a job I love for a theatrical promotion company. During the week I am in the film and television world, and on weekends I am surrounded by Broadway and the Theater! I have been making a great living, I was able to afford Christmas gifts for my family this year...plus lots of STUFF for myself. I was also able to pay off a large chunk of 1 of my student loans and my car payments. Earlier in the year my sacroilitis was acting up...but since I have added certain supplements to my diet I've been feeling stronger and healthier than ever before. So, I need to stop feeling behind and not good enough and just continue to plug away at my goals.

I have a few small goals that there is no question MUST be accomplished next year. They are: Obtain Medical Insurance through work in the Industry. I am so close to qualifying for insurance through AFTRA, one of my unions. In 2012 I must dump my current overpriced insurance and switch over. Another goal is to lose a solid 10 pounds. I love working out and going to the gym...but I also love eating. My habits have improved and some weight has come off...but not enough. I need to pay off my high interest student loan. I also want to take a few acting/musical theater/dance classes. Unfortunately, due to my schedule it is impossible for me to study somewhere on a regular basis...but at some point this year I need to at least take a 1 day workshop. Later this year I'd also like to get a commercial agent and start auditioning. And lastly, I'd like to be able to do a forearm stand center floor in Yoga. I have the strength, I have the flexibility, and I can do it against the wall! I need a teacher to work with me so I feel confident enough to do it without help.

I also have a few goals that seem more far fetched to me...but I must still work for. One of them is to book a performance job on a cruise ship. I don't care if it involves wearing a Mickey Mouse costume for Disney. I want to be someplace that allows me to save money, pay my bills, and have fun! I also went on my first cruise this year and LOVED being on the water. A cruise ship job would be a dream job. 

I believe 2012 is going to be fabulous. I'm going to make it fabulous. I hope everyone else has a Happy New Year and achieves their dreams too!

August 31, 2006 1:07AM

Another reposted old blog from my MYSPACE account! Sorry I'm terribly unoriginal but I work to hard to be creative! Anyway, I wrote this the day I got my first tour: MY LITTLE PONY LIVE. I was so happy and excited. I hope to reclaim that same feeling one day soon.

 

My whole life is about to change, that's all........

Current mood:excited

There is a god. And he listens.

Just when I thought the sight of the Hollywood sign would make me want to puke up the soy ice cream I had for dessert.......a miracle happens.

Bye all, Im going on a national tour!.....of MY LITTLE PONY! Random, YES! Big deal, NO! Its just the answer to ALL MY PRAYERS as of late!

Im being hired as a DANCER! That is my title! Dancer!..on an 11 month tour. This is the same company that does Sesame Street Live. I auditioned for them 3 years ago, had 5 callbacks, but nothing ever materialized. 3 months ago I drove my ass down to Long Beach to audition again. This time we were in the theater on the stage of the performing arts center! I suck at auditioning, but being on an actual stage in a huge theater, helps, ironically. One would think that would make me more nervous. I guess I feel more comfortable on a stage then staring at my large ass in a mirror at a crowded rehearsal hall.

I left my audition feeling great. 3 months ago! Then I didnt hear anything! Finally, I let it go! Gave up on the dream..And I got the phone call today!

I leave September 29^th! Im overwhelmed with the amount of things I need to accomplish between now and then, but Im happy that the next year will be completely different! I love change, but fear it at the same time. Im afraid of how much I will miss my friends. Im afraid I might not return to LA. And most importantly, Im annoyed at myself for thinking that far into the future! I spent the past few months being depressed and scared, because I didnt know what the future would hold. Now that Im going on tour, and I am getting basically everything Ive asked of God, I realize what energy I wasted being depressed!

Right now I am 1 happy lady! I want to see EVERYONE before I leave! Well, everyone that wants to see me! So please, give me a call! Help me pack! Whatever!

 

Reality TV...ugh!

I’m not one of those actors that despise Reality TV because it takes jobs away from actors. The Biggest Loser is one of my favorite shows. I like to watch it on my Ipad while I’m running on the treadmill. If those morbidly obese people can turn themselves into personal training worthy bodies certainly I can lose 10 pounds!!! (You would THINK!) I used to like Survivor and Amazing Race as well. Survivor because I like watching city people that have literally never been in the wilderness learn how to cope and Amazing Race because I love to travel and long to go all over the world…but since I can’t, I live vicariously through the AR contestants. I pretty much adore every reality show on the Food Network! Iron Chef, Cupcake Wars, The Next Food Network Star, Challenge, Chopped, and the new Restaurant Impossible! I don’t even cook! I think the appeal to me is that they are all shows about people that persevere! And I cannot forget the travel channel! Samantha Brown is the most adorable blonde host! She travels everywhere and describes everything perfectly! I want to BE her! Anthony Bourdain is kind of obnoxious but smart! In No Reservations he travels to offbeat locations and talks about the food! I even like Bizarre Foods with Andrew Zimmerman, for although I would never eat any of that gross crap it’s fun to see how the other half live and eat! Of all these reality shows the one that I simply cannot stand is…drum roll….Jersey Shore. To be fair, I’ve only seen a totally of 10 minutes of the show (probably 1 minute at a time over 10 episodes) but I just don’t like it…and yesterday I found an even bigger reason to hate it! I was doing cattle call background work on a brand new show called Person of Interest. There were almost 100 background actors on set and I do not know what corner of the earth some of these monsters were dug up from but they were there! Including, I kid not, Snooky’s twin Sister. OK, obviously I don’t know if they were related but this girl was a real piece of work! She showed up to set with her mother! In the bathroom she was screaming that she needed a tampon and didn’t have one! Her mother was coddling her like something out of a Miss Teen Pageant USA Jonbenet Ramsey scenario! Then she announced to everyone in the bathroom that she was 21 but she went everywhere with her mom! She was tan to a point that her face was pealing off and her Jersey accent was thick and trashy! For deep exterior background work she refused to go to set because her “hair was a mess!” Oh yes, she whipped out the flat iron in holding! Then when she was filling out her voucher she couldn’t figure out what to write because “my agent got me this job!” I’m thinking to myself “honey, if your agent got you this non union $85 for 10 hours of background work then you seriously need a new agent.” The worst was at the end of the evening when they were checking out AFTRA members first. She cut to the front of the line and demanded to be checked out stat because she had to drive back to Jersey! The PA’s stared at her in disbelief! Her mom, who had sat around holding for the entire 12 hour day got in on the fight! Unbelievable! And then it occurred to me that shows like Jersey Shore made psycho’s like this famous! Please don’t support this people! It’s just not right! Take it from someone who experienced it first hand and ban the JS from your life!