I have another old blog from MYSPACE that I wanted to repost. I wrote it at a time when I let depression get the best of me and used to sit around and eat rather then go to the gym and maintain a healthy lifestyle. I would make up excuses not to practice voice and sit in front of the TV for hours. Somewhere along my path I developed some discipline...but here is a blog written from when I relied solely on others to inspire me...and inspire me they did.
June 30, 2006
Why Can't I Be More Like Jonathan Larson?
Current mood:
anxious
Did anyone see the movie RENT? Yes, I know, not a great movie but of course I had to go out and buy it (dont worry, previously viewed.) After owning the thing for 3 months I decided to pop in the "special features" section a few days ago. Included on the 2nd disk is a feature-length documentary called "No Day But Today." I turned it on thinking it was going to be a short half-hour documentary about the making of the crappy movie, but instead found myself glued to a 2 hour movie about the life of Jonathan Larson. If you dont know this already, I am a musical theater fanatic. I have been lucky enough to see RENT on Broadway with the original cast, and twice more after that with replacements. The show has grown on me. I didnt enjoy it so much the first time I saw it. Jill, if you are reading this, Im sorry. Jill Keyishian took me when I was sixteen years old and we sat front row mezzanine. I think this show is way to advanced for a spoiled little white girl from Long Island, NY to really comprehend. However, after seeing the show, I purchased the CD and started playing it religiously. As I grew up, saw the show twice more, went to college in Philadelphia, lived in the East Village right near Ave. A, and moved to Los Angeles, the lyrics and music really started making more sense to me and their true genius smacked me right in the face and continue to do so constantly. I mean seriously: "Dont breath too deep Dont think all day Dive into work Drive the other way That drip of hurt That pint of shame Goes away Just play the game." How often at how many crappy day jobs do I have to run this through my head just to get through the day? Or whenever Im feeling that I really fucked up, or crappy about what Ive done with my life I remember: "No other road No other way No day but today." Yeah, I really like RENT. But I never knew the real story behind the musical. I hardly knew anything about Jonathan Larson until I saw this documentary. To say that Im in utter awe of him is an understatement. Jonathan Larson went to Adelphi college on Long Island (20 minutes from my NY home) for acting. When finished he decided to move to NY and write music. He lived in a crappy apartment with a bathtub in the kitchen in the Village and wrote music using a CASIO keyboard! He worked at a diner Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, and spent the rest of his week sitting in his shitty apartment with his cat writing music! Before RENT hed written 2 unsuccessful musicals, SUPERBIA and TICK TICK BOOM. Stephen Sondheim was his role model and he used to send Sondheim copies of his new music for approval or advice. RENT took 3 years for him to write. Then finally, after the final dress of the show off broadway, he drops dead at age 36 from some rare muscle tissue disease that he supposedly suffered from his entire life! The cast finds out opening night and they go on with the show anyway! Its a smash success, moves to Broadway and ends up winning Tonys and the Pulitzer. What impressed me about the life of Jonathan Larson, was his commitment to his art. From the time you graduate college until age 36 is a long time. To stay in the same place, living in poverty, without even proper equipment (I own a Casio keyboard and its a piece O'shit) is something that I cannot even comprehend. He never even got to partake in the success that he achieved! He died! Immediately after watching it, I felt inspired! But, Im finding it nearly impossible to stay alone in my dark, hot apartment and practice my art. I should be memorizing monologues, or working on my voice. Hey, I used to play the piano, I should re-teach myself! I should write, dance, read books about acting, watch old movies, watch musicals, stretch.and do whatever else concerns theater. But the moment I find myself with free time on my hands I make up mental excuses. "Oh, the apartment is messy, I cant focus until I clean it!" "Im hungry, let me make food just before I do anything else." "Let me just watch this one more stupid mindless celebrity driven show on the E! channel!" And after coming up with all these excusesI find that Ive wasted ANOTHER day! Why dont I want to practice my craft? I do LOVE doing it! Or am I practicing it right now by writing this blog? Maybe Jonathan Larson saw a light at the end of the tunnel that Im having trouble visualizing right now. Either way, every artist should watch this documentary. Whether you like musical theater or not!
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